Resiliency is a Process

     I woke up this morning EXHAUSTED! When April 1st comes around I will not have had a day off in over 40 days. (sounds like a fast). I woke up this morning thinking of everything I need to do today, about this past week and my various conversations with people in my ministry and people who I have to work with on a HUGE project here at church. I won't lie - I am ready for some time away. Honestly, I have been pretty beaten up this week. I'm not saying that I didn't deserve the beatings, it's just why did they all have to come within a couple of days of each other.  And had this been the case 15 years ago I probably would have just left. However, leaving or walking away isn't the answer. Sure, I might get some physical rest, but emotionally I would be a wreck because all of this work is waiting for me to do and people are relying on me to keep my act together and "produce". And yet, this isn't my first rodeo. I've been thrown off the horse, so to speak, and eventually climbed back on after a beating or two. So today I continue to plod along, put my nose to the grindstone, run the race, ...you pick the analogy.

     But isn't our faith a lot like this. If you are reading this and you are a follower of Christ you probably remember the day that you were able to say those words, "I am now a Christian". But that wasn't the end was it? It's not like saying those words made you immediately a better person. No, as a matter of fact ALL it did was allow God to see you as righteous and gave you the power to change, but it was a PROCESS. And as time went on you continued to face trials, heartache, and pain. But each time you did, and you made the choice to choose the "right" path, you became stronger - you became more resilient. Gordon MacDonald said this about resilient Christians, "...it describes a life-journey in which one walks in the ways of Christ and gradually becomes more like Him in conduct and inner orientation. Resilient people think in terms of a big picture, and this is one of the things they think about and ask themselves as they look down the road of their journeys: Am I becoming a Christian?" 

     So many times, as Christians, we do something stupid that the world sees and gives Christianity a bad rap. I wish the world could understand that Christianity is a process. When we get angry and loose our temper with someone, treat the cashier at Wally-world like an idiot, erase ALL your computer files on your work computer 'cause you got fired and your ego won't let you see that you are replaceable - I wish the world could see that we are imperfect and still growing and becoming resilient to the junk of this world. Romans 5:3-5 says,  "³ We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. ⁴ And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. ⁵ And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." 

     I know you may be having a horrible day or week. Or maybe your week isn't horrible, but man you wish you didn't have to deal with some of the things going on in your life, so REJOICE! God loves you and me, He wants to fill your heart with love. I think about this every time I walk into a store and have had a long day and probably not in the best of moods. I ask the Lord to allow me to show love. That the love He has placed in my heart will be seen. When I do this - consciously - it is amazing how I see that person blocking the aisle with their buggy, or the cashier who will hardly acknowledge that I am standing in his/her line and keeps screwing up the check-out. I simply smile because maybe they are having a bad day too. Maybe they just need someone to acknowledge their presence with a simple hello or kind word. Maybe.

The Frustrated Mustard Seed

     I had a very interesting conversation yesterday with several people who I trust and look to for feedback, ideas, help, and friendship. One of them I had not met with in some time and to be frank, she let me have it. My first instinct was to bow up and get defensive - fight back. But, again this was from someone I trust and value her input; this was not someone from the outside and maybe just didn't understand me or the ministry. And so I listened as she shared her frustrations about me and the ministry we serve and I desperately fought the urge to go on the offensive. Oh, and I could have, 'cause I love a good fight and so I always have ammunition in the chamber...but I digress. Let me get to one of her frustrations. 
      She expressed how frustrated she was due to the seemingly lack of "growth" or "change" within our group, especially our leadership. Previously before coming to our ministry she had been involved with ministries where people were uprooting their lives to go "change" the world. As she was talking about how frustrated she is with people when they hear a lesson or are challenged but not applying it to their lives I began to think of those in our ministry who had changed. Those individuals whose lives are completely going in the opposite direction of where they were headed 1, 2, or more years ago.
     And then I read Mark 4:26-32. ²⁶And he said, "The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. ²⁷He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. ²⁸The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. ²⁹But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come." ³⁰And he said, "With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable shall we use for it? ³¹It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when sown on the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth, ³²yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and puts out large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade." 
     Before I begin to dissect this parable I want to say that I too get frustrated at times when I personally cannot measure the growth of others, or see change in behavior, or able to count how many people are walking with the Lord and walking in righteousness. First of all it's not my job to judge this or even within my ability to see the change from within. 
     Back to the parable: Verses 26-29 talks about how a farmer scatters a seed, but really has nothing to do but watch it grow. It grows by itself without the help of humans. For me we are to spread the Word, but it is up to the Lord to allow that to grow. Secondly, 30-32 talks of the Mustard seed. How does one of the smallest seeds in the world grow to have enormous branches that provide shade, shelter, and beauty to others. I would like to point out one thing. Here Jesus was speaking of the kingdom of God. It was believed in His time that the Christ would come suddenly and overnight and change the world. However, Jesus says "look, the kingdom isn't going to happen overnight - it's gonna take some time." Jim's paraphrase. 
     I think there are times when we throw down a mustard seed, water it a little, put some potting soil around, go to sleep and then wake up the next day and expect to see a mature, fully grown tree. I'm not saying that there are those seeds that do seem to pop out of the ground a little quicker, grow to what seems like a mature adult that is reproducing, providing shelter, shade and a place to find refuge - but that's the exception and a-typical. 
     As my friend was talking about this I was thinking of a young lady who three years ago could be in a room, never open her mouth, scared to even discuss spiritual things, and most people wouldn't even KNOW she was in the room. Now, three years later she reaches out to new people, she enjoys the spiritual conversations, she is concerned for the spiritual growth of those around us. I thought of another young man who grew up under a different teaching of the scriptures/theology and see him now serving on one of our teams. How he has matured and grown. But this has taken years, not days or even weeks.
     So how does this apply to us. 1) I think this type of frustration is healthy and good. If there is not a frustration or dissatisfaction with where we are then why try. Why share the Word? Why reach out to those who are hurting? Why come together and worship? I love these conversations, even though they can be uncomfortable at times. These conversations help push me to be better, to strive harder, to reflect upon my actions, thoughts, and ideas. We need to be frustrated.
     Secondly, we must recognize that "growth" and "change" don't always come overnight. I would bet that change almost NEVER comes overnight or even quickly. We must remember that "...the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." (I Samuel 16:7) We don't always know how long the Lord has been working within someone, we only see the decision that is made whether drastic, life altering, or even unnoticeable. But it's there. God is working. We must keep working!
     Thank you "friend" for this conversation. I pray that their will be fruit. 
      

What was I thinking?

     This past week I went on a trip to Guatemala and one afternoon I had the opportunity to take an adventurous ride on a scooter around Antigua, Guatemala.  I would say for most people this is probably an incredibly stupid, crazy, and unwise activity to pursue in a foreign land! Why? As an American we believe  traffic signs and laws should be adhered to by the letter, whereas, in Guatemala these are merely suggestions. Oh, yes - a stop sign merely means yield. Lanes of traffic only matter if someone else is there. However, when you are on a scooter it is expected that you stay on the right hand shoulder. You don't swerve to the right or the left, cause you will get HIT by anything and everything!
     My experience riding a scooter in Guatemala was appropriate as I was reading this mornings in Proverbs. Solomon says this in chapter 4, "Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left..." The FIRST word in this scripture is what really stood out to me. Ponder by definition means "to consider something deeply and thoroughly; meditate". How many decisions do we make each day without truly pondering on them. In grad school I was a graduate assistant for a professor teaching Eco-tourism. We had a large project coming up and she had lost her voice and asked me to present the project and answer any questions the students might have. At the end of class she praised me and was impressed that I was able to answer the questions so quickly without having to spend anytime thinking things through. I was just as amazed as she was.  However, it wasn't until we started putting the project in place that we realized that I should have pondered some of my answers. Thankfully they weren't critical, but had I just given a minute to each of the questions to think about the long term effect of my answer we could have saved time in the end.
     My point is this: even though some of life's questions appear simple and seem to not need a lot of time in thinking them through - maybe we should. Even though a question may not seem incredibly important at the time, it may have lasting consequences on your life. Each time I wanted to turn to the right or left in Guatemala I had to decide if it was safe or not. Now, riding a scooter was easy to decide - all I had to do was look over my shoulder and see if there was a bright, shiny big bus coming up beside me. However, in the adventures of life we don't have the opportunity to look over our shoulder to see if there is a big red bus coming up ready to plow us over.  Therefore, each decision must be made with careful thought and purpose - even those decisions that seem inconsequential.
     Remember Indiana Jones in the Search for the Holy Grail! The old English Knight told Indie - "Choose wisely!"